an irish joke

With St. Paddy's day just around the corner.... here is a cute irish joke. I am half chinese and half irish so this is the irish humor in me. )I did the chinese humor already although perhaps not PC but funny to me just the same)


The Irishman Who Orders Three Beers

An Irishman by the name of Paul McLean moves into a tiny hamlet in County
Kerry, walks into the pub and promptly orders three beers. The bartender
raises his eyebrows, but serves the man three beers, which he drinks quietly
at a table, alone. An hour later, the man has finished the three beers and
orders three more. This happens yet again. The next evening the man again
orders and drinks three beers at a time, several times. Soon the entire town
is whispering about the Man Who Orders Three Beers.

Finally, a week later, the bartender broaches the subject on behalf of the
town. "I don't mean to pry, but folks around here are wondering why you
always order three beers."

"'Tis odd, isn't it?" the man replies. "You see, I have two brothers, and
one went to America, and the other to Australia. We promised each other that
we would always order an extra two beers whenever we drank as a way of
keeping up the family bond."

The bartender and the whole town was pleased with this answer, and soon the
Man Who Orders Three Beers became a local celebrity and source of pride to
the hamlet, even to the extent that out-of-towners would come to watch him
drink.

Then, one day, the man comes in and orders only two beers. The bartender
pours them with a heavy heart. This continues for the rest of the evening --

he orders only two beers. Word flies around town. Prayers are offered for
the soul of one of the brothers.

The next day, the bartender says to the man, "Folks around here, me first of
all, want to offer condolences to you for the death of your brother. You
know -- the two beers and all..."

The man ponders this for a moment, then replies, "You'll be happy to hear
that my two brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, meself, have
decided to give up drinking for Lent."

friday celeb pics

April 8th the boys are back in town. My favorite show!!!!!!!! oh and that means Jeremy Piven too!

http://www.hbo.com/entourage/

6 weeks side lined

omgawd! not my becks! ouch! as long as this doesn't change his move here! ok, it could be worse, he's out for 6 weeks. i'm hoping to see him in august when he plays in colorado.

yes, acaligurl's sissie has tickets!!! and just in case anyone wants to know what mrs. becks is doing.. (no sillies, not me, the "real" mrs. becks)(well, she doesn't really look real, but ya know what i mean)http://www.dvbstyle.com i watched some of her video's and she has a personality and she is pretty charming. i have to admit i was a spice girl fan way before i ever knew who becks was. of course now i'm making up for lost tme!

chinese in 5 min* fa kin su pa

I got this in an email and it cracked me up. Although I am 1/2 asian , this sort of stuff doesn't offend me at all. I'll be the first to tell you I always carry a camera & i'm not the best driver.

That's not right
Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?
Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me ASAP
Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man
Dum Fuk

Small Horse
Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach?
Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table
Ai Bang Mai Fu Kin Ni

I think you need a face lift
Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here
Wai So Dim

I thought you were on a diet
Wai Yu Mun Ching

This is a tow away zone
No Pah King

Our meeting is scheduled for next week
Wai Yu Kum Nao

Staying out of sight
Lei Ying Lo

He's cleaning his automobile
Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive
Yu Stin Ki Pu

Great
Fa Kin Su Pa!!!!

damn cute

part 3

So fast forward a year. Despite SP things are ok. Then one day KA calls LB and says he is putting the house on the market. Fair enough, he gave warning. What he didn't give warning on was that he would be at the house all the time doing minor improvements, (i.e sprinklers, new door etc..) SP is at the house putting in her 2 cents! She even offers to clean windows and garden. Ok, this is like offering Martha Stewart tips on cleaning her windows...KA tends to do this on the weekends and after 5pm when LB is home. She asks him to please let her have Sundays, as it is her only day off and when she gets up first thing doesn't want to listen to him hammering or to have to worry about coming out and there he is! He's says sure.... but doesn't do it. LB is in the real estate business and she knows the rules. She writes him a note requesting he not intrude on her one day. He replys with a rental increase!!!!
Now this is the guy that begged LB to rent his house, this is the guy who said he would reimburse for any extra $$$ she spent to improve the house, this is the guy that use to be considerate! (note, he never did reimburse or buy the new fridge he promised)
LB responds with a 30 day written notice that she is vacating the property.
In 30 days she is out and leaves the house in better shape than ever. A week goes by and no deposit yet, 3 weeks go by!! LB calls and says please send deposit. Doesn't come, then KA calls and says I'll bring it to your work. He comes in with a sealed envelope and says "I had to take out a little for cleaning" LB says "KA you are kidding right? you know i am spotless, show me a receipt" KA "uh, i don't have it with me i'll get it to you" he leaves. LB is fuming. She opens the envelope and there is a check for $800. She starts to laugh. Dum dum KA thought LB paid a $1000. deposit but she only paid $300. KA didn't even remember he cut her a deal because he was desperate and the house was so thrashed AND HE KNEW she was impecable!
The end result being LB got her deposit back, and we know KA won't be able to produce a cleaning bill, so LB will get "her" other $200. back. Hey, its poetic justice. the end.

Part 2

LB settles in and is enjoying her home. KA is a pilot so often times he is away and LB keeps an eye on his house while also taking care of "her"house and she is paying the rent on time. She is making improvements on the house all the time. They have an agreement, any gardening, and general improvement of the house will be reimbursed and a new refrigerator is in the works.
Ahhh times are good.
AND THEN! KA announces he has met a "wonderful" girl from Seattle. Thats kewl... and anyways, she is in Seattle so no worries. Well, you know what happens, she moves here and moves in with KA. Ah the fun really begins, she decides to compete with LB. If LB plants some flowers, SP (sour puss) plants a huge vegetable garden, if LB has a bbq SP has a hawaiian luau, if LB colors her hair SP cuts and colors her hair. And the funny part is she is constantly talking about how similar the two of them are.Lets not forget LB and KA have been friends for years so as a token of friendship we include SP in all the get togethers. But just so you know, we don't really like her. duh. (to be continued)

Part 1

This is a story of LB and the house. We have another friend KA and KA owns 2 houses on the same block 2 house apart. KA lives in one home and rented the other one out. He rented it to 2 guys that ended up trashing the house and not paying the rent. There was literally mounds of trash and an unkept house. After months and months the tenants were eventually evicted. Of course the house was not in rentable condition. Not to mention KA lost 7 months of rent. Now enter LB who is looking for a place to rent. KA says if you want to rent it I will rent it cheap to you, just help me clean it up. They agree and they get a dumpster and the work begins. It takes a couple weeks to clean, paint, tear up the carpets which are stench filled and spiff up the wood floors underneath.
LB is a type A personality, she is neat, organized and anal on cleaning. She has impecable taste and knows how to decorate. Picture spotless windows, not a spec of dirt on the floor and fresh flowers and candles on the tables. Zgallerie meets West Elm meets Anthropologie. A pure delight to visit. And LB likes to cook and entertain so there is always a good time going on. (to be continued...)

heathy shmealthy

I live in a town with no Cheesecake Factory and no In n Out Burger. So anytime I am in a town that has one I feel I have an excuse to dine at one!! Ahh today was the CCF and I was by myself so I scooted my bad self up to the bar and ordered a cup of coffee and a slice of Godiva Cheesecake.... (for breakfast) Here's how I justified it. Last nite I didn't have dessert and my birthday cake was a bust so ... ya this was some good sh*t. I sat at that counter watching the flat screen basketball and thoroughly enjoyed myself. The husband called while I was dining, and I said "lemme call you back i'm having lunch" and he said "what are you having?" and i said "hello? hello? bad connection i'll call you back" and tried to hang up but not before i heard him say "that's a bunch of crap, you're at Cheesecake or In n Out" DAMN he does know me. I had to 'fess up.

the end.

schrove tuesday

Lent is a time of abstinence, of giving things up. (ck out thb http://teahouseblossom.blogspot.com/ )Shrove Tuesday: The Pancake Fest
Shrove Tuesday gets its name from the ritual of shriving, when the faithful confessed their sins to the local priest and recieved forgiveness before the Lenten season began.
Historically, Shrove Tuesday also marked the beginning of the 40-day Lenten fasting period when the faithful were forbidden by the church to consume meat, butter, eggs or milk. However, if a family had a store of these foods they all would go bad by the time the fast ended on Easter Sunday. What to do?
Solution: use up the milk, butter and eggs no later than Shrove Tuesday. And so, with the addition of a little flour, the solution quickly presented itself in... pancakes. And lots of 'em.
Today, the Shrove Tuesday pancake tradition lives on throughout Western Europe, the United States, Canada and Australia, but is most associated with the UK where it is simply known as Pancake Day with a traditional recipe, although these can be as varied in the UK as there are British households.
In France, (as well as here in the US - or more famously - in New Orleans) it's known as Fat Tuesday which kicks off the Mardi Gras festival with wild celebrations just before the austere Lenten season

BBBB BRIT NEY BBBB ALD

the thing about my cake...

so a few of you have commented on my gorgeous from scratch cake. heres the thing, i like to bake so i told the husband i would make a cake, he said "oh no its taken care of" which led me to believe i was getting a safeway cake.
i get to my girl j's house and i see the cake. i say to her "omgawd you made it from scratch? i'm impressed, i thought it would be a safeway cake" j said "girlfriend like i wouldn't make you a special cake? of course i would" all is well and the cake is really pretty..... we sing, we blow, we cut and take a bite. IT WAS THE DRYEST CAKE WE HAVE EVER HAD. i had a ton of vanilla ice cream with my slice and the rest had cups of milk! we were laughing and had chucks of dry cake stuck in our throats.
(safeway actually would have been delightful!)well, its the thought that counts.
the end

deem sum in the city~chinese new year

Februay 17, 1963 acaligurl and michael jordan!!!
It turns out a very good friend of mine and i also have the same birthday. we call each other the birthday sista's. this year she turned the "f"word 40. our girls group went out last nite to dinner to celebrate. today, we ended up stopping by a birthday bbq this afternoon for a another friend alan who turned 50! it was quite a date for birthdays.
tonite the husband made a huge pot of spaghetti sauce and homemade meatballs and we took it to my girlfriend j's. it was me, the husband, sweet & sasssy, j and her husband and 3 kids and another good friend rp and her man. i love going to j's we can all sit at the same table! ya, up to 18 of us and it is always fun. we have been friends since we were 20 and our kids have grown up together and are in high school together. it's pretty nice to spend your birthday surrounded by the special people in your life and watch your kids actually grow up right before your eyes.
tomorrow my dad and i are going to san francisco for dim sum! yum i can't wait, plus its chinese new year so its gonna be crazy! monday i think i'll just crash from all the excitement of the weekend! and my birthday is not over, there is going to be a party for me in a couple weeks. woot woot, i do love being the birthday girl, i really do, except for the fact that we are actually aging (hee hee) birthdays are the best celebration of life!! the end.

picture of layla from 52cupcakes..cupcake queen

happy birthday to:

Michael Jordan, Paris Hilton, lgurl (one of acaligurl's dearest friends), karen, alan, & me! acaligurl

be my valentine

I was listening to talk radio and it was all about valentine's day. How women are romantic and most men wait 'till the last minute. One of the callers phoned in a great idea. Make a "David Letterman" top 10 list of why I love you. I love that idea, and guess what the husband is getting in his card? It got me thinking, not everyone has a "valentine" I think you should write a top 10 to yourself!!! Why not? Also, we all have girl friends and guy friends and who wouldn't want a list of nice things about them? I'd like to write a couple to some blog friends!

Anny~girl's got moxy!you tell it like it is and i like that, you make me laugh

CuteJ~i am living vicariously thru your looking for love, love to hear about new york

Dummy~ever so smart,a true humanitarian. i learn from your blog!

EB~you are so witty and clever i love looking at your pics *********Meish stories of lala land and your daily life, always good. *******Teahouse Blossom you crack me up with your stories i.e puke, don't mess with the small demure girl, and more stories in new york**** heather~your day to day that i can totally relate to.**** Girl dates London~hilarious and you always have a good story to tell. you are the UK Sex in the City! all characters!!!****Lola Lundane~one word

ENTERTAINING!*** no milk paul ~ you are flipping funny and sarcastic, 2 of my favorite things, if i lived in Chicago i would totally hang with you!**** Global Notes~ you are sweet and caring .****ah and last but not least JEFF C is for cooking, ohgawd i am hungry every flippin' time i look at your posts, complete with pics, music and a story. I wish all my blog buddies a happy valentines, and guess what? whether you have "someone" in your life or not, you have acaligurl that is so happy and thankful i found each and every one of your sites . yikes, ps debbie does life~ hilariously sarcastic!!! especially your xmas blog about the husband doing... nothing! THE END

anna nicole

Anna Nicole seemed to have packed alot of life into only 39 years. I know she was over the top but that is what the intrigue with her was. Why did anyone care that she married a old, billionaire? You don't think he had smarts? I thought she often looked sad even when she was smiling. Very strange that she and her son have died, in a questionable way. And terribly sad for her daughter . When Dannielynn is old enough to understand there will be so much written about Anna Nicole, what a way to learn about a parent you never got to know, let alone remember. http://www.people.com/people

CuteJ~ i got Jeremy for ya!!!




Will and Oscar look like twins!

ah becks....

I love him.

ps to old man

After reading my post again, and then reading some of the comments left I thought I left out one thing. I have always enjoyed "old people" I mean as far back as I can remember I would visit with the elderly and I worked at retirement homes and have volunteered loads of times in my teens and 20's. Even my friends know I'll stop and chat with the "old one". To this day my Mom will periodically say "you always liked older folks and you sister was nervous around them" So, I guess that is why I wonder why I didn't really want to talk to this man. And I am still thinking about him. Weird.

old man

I was meeting a friend for lunch today at a popular local's restaurant. and while I was waiting a older man (hearing aid, cane)
came and sat next to me.The bench was plenty enough for 2 but there was a stack of newspapers and so when he sat we were shoulder to shoulder.I'm a space person.(don't tail gate me and don't get up on me in the checkout line :) Don't get in my space! this was too close. We were both waiting for tables. As I sat there, he just blurted out "my wife passed away" oh, i am so sorry i said. "its ok, she was sick for 5 years and died on december 31st" i didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure if he was for real, i mean my gut feeling wasn't going for it. anyway he went on to talk about the desserts in the case and how he was a diabetic and couldn't eat them. anyway, he got called to a table and as he was getting up he said "are you alone?" i said no i was waiting for a friend. (i think he wanted me to join him)
i went up to the hostess and asked what his story was, i mean did his wife just die? was he lonely? was he a regular? yes to all the questions. my friend showed up and we got our table. as we were eating the older man was leaving and he walked by and waved. i don't know why i had a funny feeling about him, and yet i felt sorry for him. if it had been a woman i think i would have talked to her more. why is that? why did i have a funny (strange not ha ha) feeling about him?

what a facial can do!!

I figured the best way to build a clientele is to be available. I had 2 ladies request today (sat) for facials. I left the house at 8:25 am and was in the door at 8:30 getting my room ready! As it turns out one client had to reschedule so that left me with an 1 1/2 hours free. So, I called one of my best pals and told her if she wanted a back facial or waxing or a facial, come on down and I would comp her, since I would get to practice on her. I didn't have to tell her twice! She buzzed over. Apparently she was out all nite and had quite the hang over and her face was lacking luster! Ah, not to worry I told her I will hook you up! I did a kaolin mask, (draws out all the oil and impurities... ah and alcohol) and then I did an eye treatment to smooth and plump up the tired look and then I put a spray of rose water with essential oil (that holds the moisture in ) on her face with a hydrating mask on top AND i put a collagen ampule on top of that and i put the steamer on! While that was going on I thought I'd treat her to an almond oil with lavender essential oil hand massage, after massaging that in i added an orange moisture cream and wrapped her hands in hot steamy towells. While that was setting, it was time to take the moisture mask off with a hot peppermint towells. Voila! I finished with a luminescent cream and her skin looked amazing. She did not look like she had been out all nite and her skin plumped right up. In fact as she was leaving a woman in the salon said "wow, can i book what she had?" absolutely! So, while my original client rescheduled I got my friend looking like a million bucks and I got another client. Slowly but surely, I'll get that clientele.

what a beauty ( i am)

The husband & I watched a couple movies this weekend. We actually found and agreed on 2 movies. First we saw my choice, The Devil Wears Prada. I had read the book and did not see it in the theater so I was happy to put on my sweats, get some take out and put on some pay per view. We both enjoyed it.

We also saw Miami Vice (the husbands choice) but I was happy to see it. I was a huge fan in the 80's and never missed an episode. ( i also LOVED Nash Bridges... if anyone cares) Ok, so the movie starts and you see the boats on the water. OK. so here is a snippet of conversation between the husband & i.

me: "thats cool, where is that?"

the husband: pause, looks at me "miami"

me: "oh ya, miami vice"

what a beauty.

the end.