Monday, September 28, 2009

day to day caligurl

i've been facebooking alot. the thing is everyone "knows" me on fb. its like real friends, and friends of friends etc.. but here! well, i think i have more freedom to write and not worry.
the husband and i of 6 years split up. i am ever so sad, and my heart hurts. the husband moved out 4 months ago.
the thing is, he wants children of his own and his desire has caused him torment. we have my daughters 18 &15 but he really wanted one of his own and as time has gone on...well so has my age and at 46 i am not willing to have another baby.
the first month was ok, i was feeling good and even wished him the best. i want him to be happy and i will never have to know the want or need or deisre to have a child because i have 2. the second month i started to be sad. the third month i started to get pissed!! how could he leave? and still love me? and how could his love of someting he 'wants" be stronger than his love for me?
all these things spin in my head.
(to be continued)