Monday, September 28, 2009

day to day caligurl

i've been facebooking alot. the thing is everyone "knows" me on fb. its like real friends, and friends of friends etc.. but here! well, i think i have more freedom to write and not worry.
the husband and i of 6 years split up. i am ever so sad, and my heart hurts. the husband moved out 4 months ago.
the thing is, he wants children of his own and his desire has caused him torment. we have my daughters 18 &15 but he really wanted one of his own and as time has gone on...well so has my age and at 46 i am not willing to have another baby.
the first month was ok, i was feeling good and even wished him the best. i want him to be happy and i will never have to know the want or need or deisre to have a child because i have 2. the second month i started to be sad. the third month i started to get pissed!! how could he leave? and still love me? and how could his love of someting he 'wants" be stronger than his love for me?
grrrrrr
all these things spin in my head.
(to be continued)

4 comments:

sincerelykate said...

omg i am SO sorry to hear this. you know i heart you bunches. i'm here if you need me. please take care. xoxo.

Kristen said...

Hi!! Thanks for visiting my blog! And first I'll just say that you're 46?????!!!!! Holy cow, you seriously look 22!! Secondly, so sorry to hear about your split! Hope things turn around for you soon, BUT BRAVO for putting yourself first in this!!

lbck said...

What's the age difference between you and your husband? I can understand why you don't want anymore kids. If he's a bit younger than you (or even the same age), I can also understand why he'd want one.

Heather said...

I am SO sorry to hear this! I'm a bit behind on the blog stuff, but finally checked in and saw this post. :( You're the best and I'm here if you want to talk!! xoxo